For Wilshire Baptist Church
On Valentine’s Day in grade school we’d make mailboxes out of shoeboxes decorated with red construction paper, glitter, ribbons and other arts and crafts stuff. Some years the mailboxes would sit on the corner of our desks and other years we’d line them all up together on a shelf along the wall. At different times during the day we’d go around dropping Valentine’s cards into each other’s mailboxes, and at the end of the school day we’d have a party with cupcakes and punch and we’d open our mailboxes to read the cards inside.
Most of the cards were store-bought but some were homemade. Some were fun, some were serious, but what I remember most is that everyone got a card from everyone else. I don’t know if it was school policy or simply a tradition, but it was a wonderful lesson that I remember more than any of the cards I received: Our classmates were worthy of our love, and if not our love then our friendship, and if not our friendship then at the very least our acknowledgement.
Loving is easy because we choose who we love. Love is fun and exciting. Hating isn’t fun, but it’s equally easy. But acknowledging someone? That is so much harder. Acknowledging requires noticing. It requires risking a reaction. Acknowledging is nodding at someone waiting at a bus stop while you’re waiting at a traffic light. Saying hello to someone you pass in the grocery aisle. Waving to a neighbor who steps out to check the mailbox at the same time as you. Speaking to the clerk who checks you out at the store. Staying on the sidewalk when someone approaches rather than crossing the street.
And yet acknowledging may be vastly more important than loving someone. Acknowledging is that thin, fragile moment where a look or a gesture tells someone, “I see you, I notice you, I recognize that you and I are brothers or sisters, created by the same God and equally important and worthy of attention.”
We know the Bible says, “Love your neighbor as yourself,” but it’s not talking about romantic, Valentine love. It’s talking about acknowledging. It’s talking about seeing another person’s humanity and giving them the courtesy and respect that comes with that.
John Prine speaks of the power and importance of simple acknowledgment in a heartbreaking song called “Hello in There.” The chorus and last verse:
Ya’ know that old trees just grow stronger,
And old rivers grow wilder every day.
Old people just grow lonesome
Waiting for someone to say, “Hello in there, hello.”
So if you’re walking down the street sometime
And spot some hollow ancient eyes,
Please don’t just pass them by and stare
As if you didn’t care, say, “Hello in there, hello.”
Valentine’s Day comes once a year, but every day is a day to say, “Hello.”