For Wilshire Baptist Church
“With every head bowed and every eye closed.” Those words spoken often by visiting evangelists in the Baptist church of my youth helped shape my early understanding of the reverence and focus of prayer time. Except when sitting across the dinner table from my brother.
If you have children, you may not want to share this post with them, but . . . my brother and I have a habit of peeking at each other during prayers before meals. It started when we were kids and has continued on into middle age. Someone will be saying grace and I’ll open one eye and look across at my brother, and his eyes will pop open too. Sometimes we’ll just grin or wink, but other times he’ll give me a hideous scowl and even stick out his tongue. I’ll do the same and then the challenge is on to keep from snorting or laughing.
This memory comes to mind in this week’s readings from “God be in my Head: The Sarum Prayer” by Ken Wilson, a book that many of us at Wilshire have been reading daily during Lent. This week we’re in the section on “God be in my eyes – and in my looking,” where Wilson states, “The invitation to ‘close our eyes’ to pray doesn’t reflect spiritual wisdom so much as social convention. Many of our Jewish friends, for example, pray with open eyes.” I’ve seen the same thing in some other settings, including during prayers in the Catholic mass. The prayers are read, and the congregants often read along in their missalettes, or gaze at an icon, or focus on the officiant as they read or recite the prayer.
Wilson contends that closing the eyes is meant to cut down on distractions, but sometimes the distractions inside our heads can be as big as those outside our heads. He suggests we might try praying while looking at a burning candle, a plant in the room or a tree outside the window, and returning our focus to the words of the prayer if we find our minds wandering. I’ve experienced meaningful moments of open-eyed prayer at White Rock Lake or even just out in the garden where waterfowl or flowers seem to help me focus my thoughts on the creator. I don’t recommend staring at the TV while praying. LeAnn will tell you that I once whooped out loud while I was saying grace when my open eye caught my team making a goal.
Sometimes in church I’ve opened an eye as someone prays from the pulpit, especially during the Prayers of the People, which is a very intentional and focused prayer of petition. I’ve found it interesting that some who pray will look out over the congregation as they speak, and one person in particular even gazes heavenward and gestures while praying. It’s a beautiful expression of that person’s all-in commitment to praying to God on behalf of those with heads bowed and eyes closed, and even one who is stealing a look.
As for peeking at my brother at the dinner table, I know it’s not a behavior to be modeled or encouraged, but for us it is an action that spans the years and binds us together. The food on the table will be fine regardless of whether we are focused on the prayer; what’s most important is that brotherly love is still feeding us. And isn’t prayer a time of fellowship anyway? It’s a form of fellowship with God to be sure, but why not with each other too?