For Wilshire Baptist Church
Sometime after LeAnn and I were married, our youngest nephew Ethan was staying with us and he discovered a sock puppet app on our iPad. He started creating short puppet shows, and the one we remember most was a sock puppet wedding where the two characters faced each other and repeated these vows, dictated by Ethan:
“Do you appreciate this woman?”
“Yes, I do.”
“And do you appreciate this man?”
“Yes, I do.”
We don’t know where Ethan got that word “appreciate.” He attended our wedding when he was four, but we didn’t have that word in our vows. Maybe he heard it elsewhere. Whatever, I do believe he captured a piece of what a successful marriage is about. I’ve heard some longtime married folks say, “I love him but I don’t always like him,” or, “I like him but I just don’t love him right now.” It’s important to both like and love the person you spend your life with, although it’s not unusual to flow in and out of like or love at different times in a relationship. But appreciation is a great quality to have in the mix as well. Appreciation can be the mortar that holds together the bricks of “love” and “like” in a relationship. “Appreciation” says that you find value and good in someone no matter what.
Appreciation is a good quality to foster in all our relationships. If someone is acting in good faith and with honest intentions, we can appreciate their efforts and sincerity even if we disagree with their opinion or perspective. We used to hear about politicians from opposing parties who battled each other over legislation but appreciated each other and were socially close outside the halls of government. Maybe not so much anymore? Once when serving on a jury I was surprised after the trial to find the opposing attorneys talking like old friends in the hallway. Apparently, their appreciation for each other was not damaged by their pointed objections in the courtroom.
It’s just a coincidence that I’m writing about appreciation a few days after LeAnn and I sponsored flowers in the church sanctuary “in appreciation” of Wilshire’s COVID-19 Task Force – the group that has been making the difficult decisions about how we can best be safe at church. While I’ve not heard any grumbling about the recommendations they’ve made and the policies we’ve adopted, it would be unrealistic to assume that everyone has agreed with them. Still, it feels like there is a general appreciation for their efforts, and that’s a healthy stance for a community to take in difficult times.
Probably, I’ve been thinking about Ethan’s notion of appreciation because LeAnn and I recently celebrated our 10th anniversary and Ethan has been with us again. We’ve enjoyed watching him grow from a four-year-old to 15 now. He’s no longer interested in sock puppet theatre and is more attuned to grown-up interests along with typical teenage trends. As the Bible verse goes, we’ve witnessed him “grow in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man.”
That word “grow” is another facet of appreciation, as in to grow in value and worth. We hear it in finance and investing, but in that world appreciation usually depends on outside factors. In relationships, appreciation depends on how much grace and respect we invest in each other.