For Wilshire Baptist Church
Strolling across the Baylor University campus Wednesday morning, it all looked so familiar: students walking down long sidewalks in the bright sunshine or the shade of live oaks to classes in red-brick buildings. I paused to take a picture, because with the exception of the abundance of backpacks, it could have been a spring morning in 1981 when I was on my way to a journalism class.
But, it was just an illusion, because 48 hours earlier I was in a medical office in Dallas taking a cardiac stress test. And 24 hours after that, I was on the phone with the cardiologist who was telling me we need to take a closer look. I may feel like I could be a college student again but my body is saying no.
My business at Baylor was to interview two young academics who are just beginning their careers as teachers and researchers. Their energy and charisma was infectious, and as they talked I was wishing I could roll back the calendar, register for their classes and start all over again. Later in the day, I interviewed a retiring professor who I’ve known since we both were in our 20s and who is getting ready to embark on his post-academic life. He’s a few years older than me and his wisdom and contentment about the next phase of life was equally infectious.
LeAnn and I have a journal of sorts that asks us a daily question, and we enjoy writing our answers together at bedtime each night. Tuesday’s question asked, “How old are you now and what age would you like to go back to for one day?” I answered the first half of that – 64 – but left the second half blank. I couldn’t decide between a day at 30 or 40 or maybe 50. And I couldn’t decide if I would want to go back to a day and fix something, or go back to a day and enjoy it again. There have been painful missteps and amazing blessings at every turn of the calendar.
The reality is we can’t go back. We can only go forward and hopefully do so informed by what we have already learned along the way and steadied by our faith. A lot of that comes from family and friends who journey with us and remind us we’re not alone and that God is in control.
Speaking of which, my last meeting at Baylor was with a scientist who is responsible for millions of dollars of microscopes and imaging equipment used for education and research. As he explained the instruments and showed me images of different samples magnified to the cellular level, he paused and said, “I just don’t understand how someone can look at these structures and not believe in a God who created it all.”
Going back to that journal question, I think I might want to go back to that sunny spring day in 1981 and tell myself: “You don’t know it all, you never will, but that’s OK. Enjoy the journey.”