For Wilshire Baptist Church
“Are you having a good day?”
That’s a question Thelma Kite likes to ask many of those who cross her path, whether a longtime friend, a grocery clerk, a doctor or a salesman at her front door.
It’s a brilliant question when you think about it, because it’s not as open ended and thus open to a brush-off answer as the more usual, “How are you?” Thelma’s question – “Are you having a good day?” – invites a conversation, because whether you answer “yes” or even “no,” it prompts a follow-up of, “Tell me about that” or “Why is that?”
Thelma doesn’t ask the question as a superficial courtesy; she asks it out of genuine curiosity and interest. If you dare go along and provide an answer, you may get pulled into a conversation and then, a relationship. If you’re having a good day, you’ll probably enjoy explaining that and even sharing good news if you have some. And if you’re having a bad day, you’ll feel some weight lifted and burden shifted by sharing your frustrations or worries. Trained as a nurse, Thelma will listen as honestly as she asked the question and perhaps offer some sensible and reasonable advice.
This penchant for drawing people out with a simple question is a true spiritual gift. There is interest, compassion, sympathy and empathy all rolled up together in the exchange. I’m not as naturally curious about people as Thelma, but I’ve tried asking the question myself, usually to someone checking me out at a retail shop where the atmosphere is often harried. Usually, the question triggers a look of surprise and then an answer that has some meat on it, such as, “No, it’s been nonstop and crazy since I got here,” or “Yes, because I get off in an hour and I’ve got plans for a good day tomorrow.”
Thelma — LeAnn’s mother and my mother-in-law — had a very good day on Sunday as friends and family helped her celebrate her 100th birthday. She’ll be the first to tell you there have been plenty of good days and plenty of bad days in those 100 years of living. Pictures and a timeline on the wall illustrated many of the details of her long and event-filled life, from growing up in a farmhouse without electricity in Grayson County, to her graduation from nursing school, and most certainly when she met and married Perry, the love of her life.
But we all know that for every sunlit day, there were cloudy days as well. If asked, Thelma might tell you about some of those days too, but then she’d say, “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.” That philosophy has served her well, because I’m pretty sure one doesn’t reach 100 by complaining, worrying about or regretting the bad days. I think longevity comes with a strong faith in a loving and caring God who allows the bad days to happen but always creates room and time for the good days to come back around.
Meanwhile, whether intended or not, Thelma’s question teaches that bad days are not meant to be swept under the rug or bottled up inside. Bad days are to be endured and, if possible, learned from and even built upon. Bad days are meant to be shared, and if the person asking you the question is truly caring and listening, you might get a glimpse of hope for better days ahead.