For Wilshire Baptist Church
Saturday night we watched a football game we had recorded earlier in the day. We knew the outcome and so there wasn’t the usual tension and angst that comes with not knowing if a good play will seal victory or a fumble is a harbinger of defeat. We already knew that our team had won.
We missed the game because the youngest daughter of my lifelong best friend was getting married. They are family and we wanted to be with them and we were not disappointed. It was a beautiful service, a real family affair: the priest walked his mother down the aisle and then stood at the front to receive his sister on the arm of his father. Translation: the brother of the bride officiated. The wedding was followed by a cozy family and friends dinner.
In his wedding homily, the brother of the bride commended the young couple for a faith and spiritual life that he said is “unusual for our generation,” and he challenged them to love each other as Christ loves the church and as the church loves Christ.
They’re just starting out, and based on what we know of their individual and joined faith stories, we have every expectation that their marriage will be great. They met at the brother’s church, but long before that they were each nurtured in loving, faithful families. It looks like a marriage destined for the win column.
What we can’t know ahead of time are the individual events that will mark their days and years. The joys and disappointments — the touchdowns and fumbles — can’t be predicted. It won’t be easy; I can guarantee that. I like what Neil Young says in a song called “The Horseshoe Man”:
And the way the story started Two lovers long ago Took a vow to live with heartbreak Took a chance But how could they know.
The vows aren’t for the easy, sunny days; the vows are for the stormy, heartbreaking days. The vows are for those moments when we feel like we’ve fallen too far behind to catch up and we’re tired and bruised and don’t think we can go on. That’s why we recite the vows in church; that’s why we ask the God who created marriage to join us in the marriage. That’s also why the priest asks the friends and family to commit themselves to praying for the couple and cheering them on through whatever happens.
We’ve recorded football games before but we rarely go back and watch them; we’re satisfied if we’ve won, and too disheartened if we’ve lost. We were interested in this one because we weren’t expecting to win, and it was something to have on the TV while we did other things. We like to have fun with it too: When something happens that causes the eventual losing team and their fans to celebrate, I’ll say in an ominous voice, “People . . . I come from the future. Your joy is in vain. This will not end well.” We can do the same thing when our team stumbles: “Don’t despair; your struggles will be rewarded.”
In televised football, that’s a trick of technology to already know the ending while you’re slogging through the first quarter. In marriage and life, knowing the ending is no trick; it’s the result of hard work, faith and commitment to vows. It helps to have fans cheering in the grandstand, too.