For Wilshire Baptist Church
My high school class is gearing up for the 45th reunion, and after sitting on the fence for a month, I’ve finally climbed down on the side of those who aren’t going. Why? Because I don’t know anyone.
That’s mostly true. I’ve reviewed the list of those who are going, and I know most of the names on the list. I knew them in the hallways and in some classes and some by reputation or rumor, but I never knew them beyond that. And with the exception of a handful of Facebook “friends,” I’ve not seen anyone on the list in person in 35 years. I think it’s a little late to try to meet them now.
It’s nobody’s fault. It’s the result of attending a large high school. I don’t know the exact numbers, but I think we had 600-plus kids in our class. Naturally, a class that size has subgroups, and that’s where friendships are made and nurtured. We saw “The Breakfast Club” again recently, and that movie from 1985 had five representatives of their school’s subgroups: “brain, athlete, basket case, princess and criminal.” That’s mostly stereotyping, but there’s some truth to the general categories.
Back in the day our parents, teachers and counselors called those subgroups “cliques,” and they used the term as a pejorative because it implied that some kids were left out or hurt by the social system. In fact, a common definition of “clique” is: “A small group of people, with shared interests or other features in common, who spend time together and do not readily allow others to join them.” That may be so, but I look back at my high school experience and see that it was mostly just a way of breaking a large group of people down into manageable social groups. There wasn’t time or need to get to know 600 people.
The reality is there are cliques or subgroups everywhere we go in life. We have them at work among people with similar job descriptions or project groups. My best friends at work were always my fellow communications and marketing teammates. We have them in church among Sunday school classes, parents at certain stages of that experience, and people who work together on missions or fellowship projects. Mega churches break their large populations down into “life groups” that provide support and a sense of family within the larger whole.
My church, Wilshire Baptist, is not a huge church, but it’s still hard to know everybody. That’s why getting involved in committees and ministry teams and going on mission trips can be important anchors for individuals wanting to belong. That’s where we get to know about backstories and extended families and find out who shares our hopes and dreams – not just for the church but for life.
In high school, my subgroup or clique or life group was the band. That’s where we worked, played, learned and laughed together — from “Friday Night Lights” to spring contests and concerts and early morning rehearsals for it all. We’ve had several band reunions over the years, usually encompassing several classes. I’d go to one of those in a heartbeat.
Meanwhile, I wish the Class of 1977 a great reunion. I can tell from the list that some old friends will have a great time catching up with each other.