For Wilshire Baptist Church
What would you do if you discovered late in life that the little girl you babysat for family friends was your sister? Or the man you thought was just your babysitter’s father was your own birth father? Two women I know are living both ends of that scenario, and they’re doing it with amazing grace. In the process, they’re teaching those who know them some good lessons on acceptance, judgement and faith.
To make a long story short: The women have known of each other for all of one’s life and most of the other’s, having started those lives in the same town. They’ve lived 75 miles apart for most of the past 60 years and had not been in touch for decades until they discovered through one of the popular genealogy/DNA testing services they have the same father. The rest of the story includes details that will remain private, as will some remarkable coincidences that defy explanation.
I can only imagine the thought processes the sisters have been going through and probably will for the rest of their lives. My own reaction, having known about the older woman’s family all my life, is this is more curious and interesting than scandalous or embarrassing. But my reaction is tempered and influenced by how the sisters have handled the news as they share it with others.
The principals in their story are long gone from this life, so there’s no one available to answer the obvious questions: How and why did this happen? Did all the parties involved know, and if so, what was their reaction? Instead, all the two women can do is reject or accept that it happened. They’ve not only chosen to accept it but to redeem it by embracing their newfound sisterhood and their newly extended family.
The older sister, who knew their father from birth and was raised by him, said her first concern when learning the news was what it might do to his legacy, because he had been a man of good standing and influence in the community. She said she got some help with that from reading Go Set a Watchman, Harper Lee’s sequel to her novel, To Kill a Mockingbird. If you’ve read both books, you know that in Mockingbird, the father, Atticus Finch, is a straight-arrow model of all that is good and proper, but in Watchman, we learn he is as human and flawed as any of us might be. The sister said it’s been good for her to acknowledge that truth about her father. I think that’s a good thing for any of us to remember about those we hold in high esteem and believe can do no wrong.
The sisters no doubt have plenty of questions about what happened in their families more than 60 years ago, but they have rejected the impulse to sit in judgement. The older of the two was a teen and not yet mature enough to know the pressures and issues of grown-up life and love, while the younger one wasn’t born yet. The sister who lived with the father loved and respected him all the days and years she knew him. The other sister was raised by a father who she loved and respected as well.
The sisters are both women of strong faith who have been active in church, ministry and missions and have raised children who are doing the same. They both believe God is in the details and has a plan through all of this. For now, that plan includes traveling together, sharing their story with family and friends and getting to know each other better in the process.
Most of all, they’re making up for lost time and being the best sisters for each other they can be. That’s an amazing grace for sure.