It’s the eternal question; the question of all questions. It’s the question that’s sparked imaginations, delighted, puzzled and terrified humans since the beginning of time: What comes next after this life?
Easter Sunday was a good day to ask the question again, and that’s what we did in our Epiphany class at Wilshire. Led by Abby Adcox, missions and advocacy coordinator, we had a thoughtful discussion about “resurrection” and what it means. We started by reading 1 Corinthians 15:12-20, where Paul, who claimed to have seen the resurrected Christ, laid out the argument that if we believe Christ was raised from the dead, then we will be too, and if Christ was not raised, then our faith is in vain.
Having chewed on that a moment, the class dove in head first, feet first and pretty much every way you can into the topic. We didn’t come to any grand conclusions and definitely no consensus because we’re real people, we’re Baptists, and we’re “Wilshire” Baptists. As such, our thoughts and opinions covered a wide range of ideas. Before the class time ended, one of our members who is usually quiet said: “My feeling is, if you believe it, then believe it with all your heart and soul. That’s faith, and nobody can disprove faith.”
So what does our faith tell us? Before the class time, I went to the 8:30 service, and while sitting there I looked at the date on the worship folder, did the math in my head, and realized the significance: The day after Easter – Monday, April 6 – would be the 55th anniversary of the death of my sister Martha following an automobile accident on a highway in southeast Texas on the way to celebrate Easter with my grandparents.
When my brother and I were ushered into one of those way-too-bright hospital consultation rooms to learn our sister’s fate, my father didn’t beat around the bush. He got right to it: “Boys, little Martha Ann did not live. She’s gone to be with Jesus.” Hearing it again in my memory, I can see how the horrible news was accompanied by a statement of faith: “She’s gone to be with Jesus.” That was my father’s faith, my mother’s too. And it’s been mine as well, but that doesn’t mean there haven’t been questions.
That event shook our world and rattled my childhood faith. I’ve been asking questions ever since. It’s possible that my questions would have been stirred up by some other event, but I was only 12 and it shook me up pretty good. Most kids I knew would face death for the first time when a grandparent died. By the time I experienced that, I was 22 and had a 10-year head start on the hard questions: Where is Martha now? Will I see her again? What comes next?
And the answer? I haven’t a clue what resurrection will be like for you and me. There’ve been countless books exploring the topic, not to mention books and movies about near-death experiences where people have said they saw loved ones. At my sister’s funeral, our pastor quoted the verses where Jesus told his followers his house had many rooms and he had prepared a place for us with him there. That was the first time I heard those verses, and houses and rooms was a concept I could understand. But that still doesn’t tell me what state or condition we will be in. That’s what I want to know.
One member of our Epiphany class said he wants to know if we will be “conscious” as we are now, and that’s where my interest is. This thinking, reasoning, knowing and remembering person inside my head and heart wants to go forward and continue being, even as flawed as I am. I’m all that I know, and going on as someone else or something else is not my preference.
As for the possibility of disappearing into nothing? That frightens the hell out of me sometimes, and then I shake it off when I realize if that is the case, I won’t even know that I ever was, so why worry? Still, that’s a thought that a lifelong believer in the life, death and resurrection of Jesus Christ isn’t supposed to have, right?
And so I lean on my faith, and when my faith is weak, I lean on the faith of others, especially those who have devoted their lives to studying life, death and resurrection. Surely the brilliant theologians, pastors, prophets and sages that have written the Bible and bestsellers know what they’re talking about, right?
And, sometimes I lean on the faith of those who are closer to the moment “when faith becomes sight” as the hymn says. As my first wife Debra was getting closer to her end — or the beginning as some call it — she seemed to be gaining new information. On her last day, as I helped her back to bed after what would be her final meal, she leaned on my arm as we walked and whispered, “It’s going to be okay . . . it’s a good place . . . the people there are nice.” Her words were simple, like those of a child going to school or to camp for the first time, but whenever I have doubts, those words calm me.
Meanwhile, whatever awaits us, whatever comes next, I do know this to be true: We can’t just sit around and wait for it. There’s still work to be done here; there’s still the work of Christ to be done. That’s a point another member of our Epiphany class made: No matter what you believe regarding resurrection, Jesus showed us how we should live and love right here and now.