“Father forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”
How often have we read those words and not really taken in their full meaning. It wasn’t until viewing The Passion of the Christ that I fully understood their magnitude. Word became flesh – torn, bloodied, exhausted flesh – in that cinematic portrayal of the horror of crucifixion. And when I heard Jesus utter those words as he hung in agony – well, if he could forgive men for that, is there anything that can be said or done to me that can’t be forgiven? “No” is the only right answer.
And yet why do we still hold on to our anger about injustices, some large, but many so small and petty? Why do we let them irritate us? Why do we let them fester? Why can’t we do as Christ did and forgive?
The simple answer is our humanity. We are still so far from being like God. We view life and people with clouded, short-sighted eyes, and we react to things that happen to us with selfish hearts and self-centered minds.
When we don’t forgive, we are saying, “Look at me! Look what they’ve done to ME!”
God set the standard with the ultimate act of forgiveness – the sacrifice of his Son for our sins. Christ completed his Father’s work by forgiving those who tortured and killed him. If we want to be God-like and Christ-like, then we also are to forgive.
Even before his crucifixion, Christ called us to forgiveness. In Matthew, Jesus prayed: “Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us.” Later in the same chapter, he instructed his disciples: “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”
This is the “golden rule” at its most basic: Do unto others (forgive) as you would have them do unto you (forgive).
Jesus taught that forgiveness has no limits. In Matthew 18:21-22, when Peter asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?,” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” It’s clear we are commanded to forgive and forgive without limitations.
But what is the purpose of forgiveness? Forgiveness may be the ultimate act of love. It says, “Even though you have done something unlovable, I will set that aside and still love you.”
Forgiveness acknowledges our humanity, and that all are flawed and sinful. For every grudge we hold for something done wrong, are we any less guilty?
Forgiveness acknowledges the sovereignty of God. It says only God can judge and so we leave judgment to God.
Forgiveness helps reconcile us to each other. It paves the way for resumption of a loving and caring relationship.
Forgiveness helps reconcile our brothers and sisters to God. When we unbind them from our anger and resentment, we demonstrate the loving nature of God.
However, forgiveness does not mean we condone sin. In Luke 17:3, Jesus says, “If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.” The person being forgiven must acknowledge his or her actions, repent and strive to do right. As Jesus told the woman caught in adultery: “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
Forgiveness is neither an act of self-sacrifice nor a sign of weakness. Rather, it is a statement of positive self-esteem and inner strength. It says: “I will not let this injury define me. I will not be a victim. I am bigger than this.”
Forgiveness is realistic and practical. It acknowledges the continued damage caused by anger and the need to settle things in order to move on.
Forgiveness is healthy. Numerous studies around the globe have verified the positive impact of forgiveness on mental and physical health.
Finally, forgiveness is an act of faith. It says we trust God to settle things, to restore us and restore our broken relationships. Just as we are to forgive, we are to seek forgiveness when we do wrong and humbly accept forgiveness when it is offered.
It’s bad enough that sin damages relationships, but if we don’t accept forgiveness, we prolong and even worsen the damage. By rejecting forgiveness, we tell the person offering it: “I don’t trust you. I don’t believe the strength of your love.” Just as trusting God to forgive us is an act of faith, so is trusting the capacity of forgiveness in others.
Sometimes, however, our guilt and shame can be so heavy that while others forgive us, we say, “I can never forgive myself.” As Christians, we should help lift each other out of the pit of despair and self-loathing by reminding that none of us is perfect, God is still in control and God’s love is infinite. God’s mercy and grace are evident in the words of his Son: “Father forgive them.”